A few days ago, I had a student ask if she could speak with me about something personal. "Of course," I replied, as her facial expression quickly transitioned from unsurety to disappointment and hurt. As I begin preparing myself to take a seat to listen, I heard her hurtfully utter, "Is it possible to be a successful woman and have a personal life?" Before I could even answer, she continued to speak of the hurt and dissapointment that she continued to experience in relationships and how she couldn't understand why things would appear to be perfect and then, poof, suddenly, without explination or reason, it would end, or in her words, why "they ALL just leave..." But, what struck a nerve for me was when she said, "and it seems like I keep getting left for MS. EASY!" As she continued to go on and on, I saw myself in her. I had spent much of my life, since my teenage years, wondering and asking myself many of the same questions. And just like her, although I thouht I was working hard to be an ideal woman and mother; working hard to provide for my son, and preparing myself to one day be someone's wife, I often wondered if that day would ever come and/or if it was even possible.??? Like my student, I also wondered how could they choose to build a life with "MS. EASY" over me. I had even tried dating different type of men, but again, like my student, the results would be the same... Somedays I even found myself comparing myself to "MS. EASY," only to realize, tears, weeks, and even sometimes, months later, after the heartbreak, that there was NO comparison! The only thing that "MS. EASY" does that "goal chasing women" don't do, is not hold men accountable! We DEMAND a level of respect and treatment, not just based on what we say, but with what we do! The way we live our lives silently speaks volumes about what will be required of these men if they are going to maintain a relationship with us. Truth of the matter is, our strength of independance, our accomplished dreams and goals, our expectations and our walk in life, has actually acted as and continues to act, as a filter used to seperate those that just came to "play" in our lives and destroy what we have already built, and what we want to build in the future, with those who are sincere and truly want to build with us. Although knowing this doesn't always alleviate the pain, I thank God for HIS filter of protection, to stop our "GOD-GIVEN" puropse and assignments from being cancelled because of our desire for wordly love that is unrecognizablely false, if it hasn't been assigned by GOD.
So to you "GOAL DIGGING OUEENS," STOP beating yourself up, STOP comparing yourself...BUT most importantly...DON'T STOP the hustle and digging deeper to become a better version of YOU! The KING that GOD has prepared for you will pick up the shovel and dig for you! ...Not run to go get a "quick"cup of Gatorade because he's tired from the required work and heat of digging and working on himself in order to be compatible with you! Girrrrl, he must of forgotten that you ARE water...the most VITAL drink to ALL forms of LIFE!
OOPS...I ALMOST DID IT AGAIN...I almost allowed him to make me feel less than. OOPS, I almost allowed him to make me feel like something was wrong with me. OOPS, I almost allowed him to make me feel unworthy of love. OOPS, I almost allowed someone else to change who I was created to be. OOPS, I almost allowed him to make me feel like a woman was only supposed to help men accomplished things and not her own. OOPS, I almost allowed others to make me feel like a failure because I still don't have a husband. OOPS...I ALMOST DID IT AGAIN...I almost allowed others to make me fall off my throne by second guessing who GOD already told me that I was...HIS QUEEN! ...Every QUEEN deserves a KING...not a prince! OOPS! Now, let me fix my crown ...and this time, with the right mindset! We were built and created to change the world. Only a few can understand and respect that...
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who loves the Lord is to be praised!" Proverbs 31:30
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